I am a student at Ōtaki College in Ōtaki, NZ. My blog is a place where I will be able to share some of my learning. Please note....some work won't be edited - they are just my first drafts, so there may be some errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas on my posts.
Kia Ora Sarita, this is Shannon from the Summer Learning Journey.
What an amazing job you’ve done on your profile page about Lorde. You’ve got a lovely balance between text and images, and have included a lot of informative facts about Lorde.
I didn’t know that she was offered her first record deal at 13. She is so talented, imagine being so skilled at such a young age. Do you have any amazing talents or hobbies that you love to do? I like to read and dance. Those activities are so much fun to me! My favourite book is Roald Dahl’s ‘The Witches’. Have you read it?
Perhaps you could edit the text so there is a clear gap between the text on the right and the text on the left. This could appeal more to your readers.
Thank you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comments. Positive - something done well Thoughtful - a sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - give some ideas for next time or ask a question you want to know more about
Kia Ora Sarita, this is Shannon from the Summer Learning Journey.
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing job you’ve done on your profile page about Lorde. You’ve got a lovely balance between text and images, and have included a lot of informative facts about Lorde.
I didn’t know that she was offered her first record deal at 13. She is so talented, imagine being so skilled at such a young age. Do you have any amazing talents or hobbies that you love to do? I like to read and dance. Those activities are so much fun to me! My favourite book is Roald Dahl’s ‘The Witches’. Have you read it?
Perhaps you could edit the text so there is a clear gap between the text on the right and the text on the left. This could appeal more to your readers.
Hei konā mai,
Shannon